Keann

inspirations, motivations, dedications...

2008-11-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.

Perseverance always outlast persecutions.

There is a high price for low living.

Success is not determined by possessions but by decisions.

Softness of life stems from hardness of heart.

Prayerlessness is a form of hiding.

When you limit yourself, you limit God; when you limit God, you limit yourself.

The darker the night, the brighter the light.

What the world cannot control, it will decriminalize and legalize; that the church cannot control, it will rationalize and psychologize; what men cannot control, they will COMPROMISE and DEMORALIZE.

Submission to the will of God does not guarantee that there will be no death but guarantees that after the death, there will be a resurrection.

Your name is only as good as your word.

boystomen

2008-09-27T10:06:00.000-07:00

"whatever that is not good for us, we don't want. Whatever we don't want, we don't keep..."

6 Singapore Infantry Regiment.
2 weeks of PTP changed the way i think. Or slightly at least.

Who would defend my land if I don't?
Who would stand strong in the face of aggressors if I don't?
How can you be tough if you're not effective?
How can you be effective if you're not fit?
How can you be fit if you're not discipline?

Regimental life. I was forced to change within this 2 months.
Adapting to the disciplined life of the forces.

Things such as waking up in 0500 hrs for exercise.
Such as washing my own clothes.
Extra trainings after R.O.
Or even things like telling myself I can do it. Just one more round to go. Just one more chin up to go.

All these small but important things made me realize that it takes a man a little inspiration to want to change, but a whole lot more of discipline to execute it, and another whole lot of determination to sustain it.

I was forced to change. I did. Now, I just have to go from glory to glory. Pushing myself everytime.
Every breakthroughs, big or small, is significant. They are the result and evidence of hard work, sweat and determination.

These 2 weeks had been very taxing physically, but even more mentally.
indeed...

boys to men.

boy to man

2008-09-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

"a soldier job is not to die for his country, but to make the other fellow die for his..."

I'm just a few hours away from entering into a new phrase of my life.
the phrase that most dread of, but some proud of.
I will be enlisted into the Singapore Armed Forces.
Finally, it is my turn to serve the national service. Finally, the day has arrive.

Well, I really thank God for the cell groups and Cat.
She organized a dinner, where we all ate yuki yaki and of course, I was blessed.
And the cg gave me a gift, a flip flop.
Cheryl's mom gave me a t-shirt.
Cheryl and Pamela rushed down to join us for fellowship after work.
Carita, Sharon and Lulu came down too.

Alycia, Qianqi, Pamela, Yanbing, Ting, Cat, Jonathan, Yongsheng, Yongheng, Henry, Jieqi were there to eat my "last supper".

I really felt blessed.
Apart from the gifts, I will bring into my camp with me the fond memories of friends and family, the well wishes of everybody, and the strength that comes from the unseen power of prayer...

But of course, as time draws nearer, I'm starting to feel a little insecure and perhaps a little worry.
What's it like to be in there?
What kind of mate will I meet?
Will my family be alright?
What about my friends?
Will I be able to excel?
Can I do it right?
How about staying focus?
Can I reall resist the temptations?

too many fears and insecurities...
hence, what I realize is this:

As the time draws nearer, I realize I need God more than ever before.

if only..

2008-09-07T12:04:00.000-07:00

"there can only be one life, so you'll have to make decisions you don't regret, and you'll live by them..."

I always thought that even if I have to relive my life, I wouldn't change anything.
Not the things I do,
nor the wrong decisions I made,
not even the people I met.

I always felt that every single thing that happened in my life made who I am.
Every victories were affirmations,
every defeats were lessons.

that had always been my mentality

until now...

I wished I had a chance to do it all over again.
I wished I had a chance to relive the incidents.
well, I can only wished...

it'd never come to past.
so,

I'll just have to look forward.

trust.

2008-09-03T08:47:00.001-07:00

"stretch your hands and straighten the paths..."

how many times we do need God to straighten the paths for us.
As the path of life gets winding and meanders, how we long for God to do something.

Jesus.
I'm trusting You with all of my life.
I'm Yours and You got me.
but
if You don't show up.
I'm done for.
I'm praying for mercy,
for grace,
for strength,
for provision.

"The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing."
[Psalm 34:10]

I'm holding on with all of my life...

NSprep

2008-09-02T07:49:00.000-07:00

"a prepared man is ready to face the challenges ahead..."

today I went to the Emart at Stagmont Camp to do my sizing for my army uniform.
Man! I'm so excited.
When I wore the No.4, even if it was just for a moment.
I just felt good. It seems like I'm made for that uniform, and the uniform for me.

the clerks in HQ Signals would always urge me to think twice and twice about finding a career in the army. saying how tough the life in army is, how "out-of-the-world" it is, and how much a person can earn if he join the secular workforces.
but
I just find a sense of belonging in the army.
I just like it there.
Probably I'll dislike it one day, maybe I might hate it.
But one thing is for sure - I'm in love with it right now.

oh ya..
today got random spot checks.
I nearly got caught for bringing in camera phone(I got no other phone leh!).
thank God I hid it and the guards didn't manage to find it at the entrance.
If not, I'd surely be charged...

thank God....

liveSTRONG

2008-09-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

"to grow up is the willingness to accept and overcome the defeats in life..."

boy - man.
How easy it is for people to demand you to grow.
How easy it is for people to demand manhood.
How easy it is for you to proclaim maturity.

How tough it is, for you to put into actions.
Action speaks louder than words.
A person communicates more when he speaks less.

Army - the journey from a boy to a man.
how true is it?

but age doesn't makes you a man.

I look forward to the army life very much
but will the 2 years make me a better man?
sure enough, it provide opportunities. Plenty of them.
but I need a decision... and plenty of determination.
and I need God's help.
Cos I don't know where to start...

but well,

let's make a decision today.
and stay true to that decision.

To grow up,
To mature.

Maturity comes with the acceptance of responsibility...

31.08.08

2008-08-31T11:54:00.000-07:00

"the day where the world stopped to run..."

I ran. And I ran like no tomorrow..
I ran 10 km and I went to path.
To meet some of the most important people in my life and help to do closing.

I'm posting this at 3am in the morning. And in 4 hours time, I have another HLS run in camp.
5km.. never turn up = AWOL...
and the night before I ran, I NEVER sleep. Was playing Mahjong at Niang's house...

I think I'm superman.

No choice.

Please keep praying for me.
I need God's strength. Never needed His strength physically like this ever before.

God I need You ar!!

Ok.. I think I'll post a more decent post the next time when I'm more awake.

tough times don't last, tough men does...

12th September 2008.

2008-08-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

12th September 2008.
Maju Camp.
6 SIR (Singapore Infantry Regiment)

what will happen?

2008-08-28T10:18:00.001-07:00

"as I got on my knees and pleaded with life, I realized its harshness towards me.."

what will happen to a man when the amount of stress he is experiencing exceeds the level of his capacity to handle it...

what will happen to a man when the difficulties and problems he faces now exceeds the level of his capacity to solve it...

what will happen to a man when life offers not even an inch of mercy for him?
what will happen to a man when life leaves him no room to come back?
what will happen to a man when he is at the end of himself but not at the end of his life?

what will happen to me..?

i shouted to heaven... it was silence..

Stagmont Camp.

2008-08-25T05:03:00.000-07:00

"training to do sai gang, fight to stay awake..."

First day in Stagmont Camp - HQ Signals and Command Systems.
Walk alot.
Alot of files to organize.

I am a clerk!!!! What the...!!! I am a clerk in the army..!!
Can't believe it...
based on the convergence theory, this is a total waste of time!!!
anyway, since they didn't pay me a penny, so it doesn't matter to them if they waste this resource. Hence, I am being torture in piles of documents and folders.

Anyway, when I arrived, I had an interview with the manpower deputy head.
"Your case is very special.. You did not receive any training at all, and you're here to do your regular service. I do not know where to place you... We have no position for you.."
So, I was placed there to help all those aunties in the manpower branch to do their sai gang...
Sian.. even before my BMT, I'm trained to be a SGW(Sai Gang Warrior).

0830 - Interview.
0845 - Slack till 1200.
1200 - Lunch.
1300 - Slack till 1530.
1530 - Sai Gang.
1600 - Walk around camp.
1700 - RO(Routine Order).
1705 - Slack till 1730.
1730 - Sit in the camp bus, leaving the home for signals and bid the poor OCS people eating their dinner in cookhouse goodbye.

and so, this is how I spend my first day. And the reason I reached at 0830 was because I couldn't find the place..

God! Take me into BMT soon!
Put me into SAFTI!

once in my life, two years of my time...

Don't Backslide.

2008-08-24T09:44:00.001-07:00

"training to be soldier, fight for our land..."

okay, starting from 25/08/08 onwards I have to report to my dreadful Stagmont camp... yes yes..
to fulfill my regular duty for my country - Singapore. I am a Singaporean, yes, I am proud of it=)
Anyway, I have to serve there until my BMT(Basic Military Training) starts, which was suppose to be on the sept 11. But if SAF doesn't process my enlistment by then, I have to continue my life in Stagmont camp for an additional 3-4 months. Gosh! I pray and pray that they would be able to process it soon enough for me for the sept 11 intake, I hate to spend another day here.
I'm looking forward to my BMT!
Yes I am!
Please pray for me yea!

oh yes - my liquidated damages.... $38,000 within the next 3 weeks...
God do something...
You, please pray for me...

"when you go into army, just remember 2 words - don't backslide..."

I want to be like Him...

2008-08-21T05:22:00.000-07:00

"winners are not those who never fails, they are those who never quit..."

Symptoms:
Running nose.
Slight Headache.
Fatigue.

Cool! The withdrawal symptoms are finally subsiding. Thank you for praying for me.
Quitting is really tough, but yet, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Not so much of the cravings anymore. According to website, it seems like usually it takes 3 - 10 days for the symptoms to go away and about 3 to 4 weeks to really quit. So, jia you LK!

Oh yes, finally, my fever is subsiding too. Great! Looking forward to a healthy life again=)

when will I become like Him again..?

persevere...

2008-08-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

Persevere LK.. keep on keeping on...
please really keep me in your prayers if you're reading this...

Symptoms:
Flu
Headache
Fever
Lack of concentration
Fatigue
Pimples...

seriously.. I wonder does these have to do with the withdrawal symptoms..
whatever the case is, I'm quitting, and that's it...

Quit.

2008-08-18T14:40:00.000-07:00

"quitting is hard, not quitting is harder..."

48 hours since the last puff.
Symptoms: Cravings.
Running nose.
Very very tired.
Lack of concentration.
Depressed.

other than that, I'm pretty much alright..
Wanted to go for PM, but feeling duper terrible right now. Didn't catch a wink last night trying to stay awake for the PM, but it seems like I can't take it anymore. Need to rest my body, and my "never resting" mind.

keep me in prayers.

my body is the temple of God...

lonely

2008-08-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

"i belong to You..."

Dear Jesus,

Can't believe I have a God like You and I just walked out of Your life, after all I put You thru, You still stuck around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke Your heart(again and again), Jesus you were(still are, will be) a good God and I had no right. I really wanna make things right because without You in my life God

I'm so lonely
I'm Mr Lonely
I have nobody
To call my own

your "don't deserved" prodigal son,
Keann

The greatest pain in hell is not in the burning sulfur, but in the eternal separation from God...

it's time

2008-08-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

"whatever the devil meant for evil, God would turn it around for good..."

what a 2 weeks I had... within such a short span of 2 weeks, I had an experiences of a lifetime...
sure enough, God is able to turn whatever that the devil had meant for evil into good for His children. I love Him I must say. In good or bad times.
I realize that I am just as humane as anyone else. I fell and will fall again. But each time, I'm caught in His grace. But since the first time I failed, and experienced a hard knock, I knew I've never did mange to get back on my feet.. I think it's time now. I had enough watching all others running past me and toward their destiny. While I'm still lying there, right there on the tracks, watching others, planning to get up.. but never did.
It's time to get back up again.
I weren't sent to just compete in the race, I was sent to complete it.

I really think it's time to grow. To be a real man.

anyway, I've decided to kick the habit.
24 hours since the last puff.
Syndrome: slight running nose, hot tempered.

true strength lies in the ability to bounce back after a hard fall...

I've lost...

2008-08-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

"now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you are the one, to build me up and tear me down..."

and folks, this is how it ends...

Marriage.

2008-08-13T05:56:00.000-07:00

"...this is now the bone of my bones, the flesh of my flesh..."

foreword: Before reading on. Please be ensured that I am not emo, or in desperate need to leave and cleave, nor the urge to merge. It's just some thoughts that I had throughout the day.

Marriage. A joining of a man and a woman together spirit, soul and body. The ultimate act of oneness between a man and a woman. Ordained and arranged by God since the beginning of mankind.

God doesn't make mistake, but yet many marriages are failing these days and it seems like people are getting lesser interested in getting married. "If only I don't have to be committed to him..." "If only commitment meant I can be committed to women instead of woman." I bet these are some of the primary thoughts for the failing of marriages. The fear of commitment.

But what is commitment? Does commitment really tied us down and cause us to live in bondage and fear..? Many people are afraid of having a relationship with God simply because they have to commit either a saturday or sunday to church. But is commitment really evil?

The kite and the string.
Commitment is liken to the string that is attached to the kite. It helps to navigate the kite and decides whether to let the kite fly higher or to pull down the kite. So, If commitment is the string, the our relationship is the kite.
Sometimes the kite would be so irritated by the string because it hinders the progression of the kite. The kite wants to fly higher, but the string tugs down the kite. The kite would think to himself that if only the string is gone, he would be able to fly even higher and see even greater things.
BUT. We all know the ending. The kite would first fly higher indeed, but it shall eventually fall and crash to the ground. With no control, the kite crashes. With no commitment, the relationship dooms. The string is there to let go and to tug the kite. On certain situations, the string allows the kite to soar as high as possible, but on certain circumstances, the string pulls down the kite to ensure that the kite doesn't soar too high and crashes. Same thing with commitment - it allows the relationship to advance and to release the fullest potential it has but on certain occasion, tugs the relationship to safeguard the relationship from crashing.

Hence, I need to learn to love commitment and to see its positive effects all around=)

Oh yes, while I was walking home just now from marsiling. I saw Caifa's parents.
Auntie sat on a bike and uncle was pushing the bike. Although he could hardly walk straight due to certain leg condition, and walking requires more effort from him then most of us. He pushed his wife along up the slope. I was walking from afar and was actually looking at them, enjoying that beautiful sight. They were talking and chatting with one another and I could see that they were really happy. Though the both of them are no longer as perfect as they were 30 years back, the love and commitment they had for one another really touched me. They had to bear one another weaknesses and stay faithful to each other through thick and thin. Through sickness and health, they didn't left. The oneness in them exceeds the oneness in most christians marriages.

Heart warming.

The only one word I could use to describe.
What a joy it is to have a companion. To have someone who would never leave you and to stay with you throughout the days or your life.
Then it made me realize that if the both of them and I were to pass away this very moment, they are those who have truly lived.

marriage - the only taste of heaven for the non-believers...

COMPASSION.

2008-08-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

"greater love has no one then this, then to lay down his life for his brethren..."

"They were like sheep without a shepherd. So He began teaching them many things.

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had COMPASSION on them and heal their sick."

If the people had depended on LK for their spiritual nourishment, they'd be utterly disappointed.
Especially on a day after I've been hit by the dreadful news of a murdered dear friend, on a day when I just wanted a retreat with my close ones, when finally I manage to get away on a boat to escape the crowd.

Had I been the one in my Lord's footsteps, the verse would read something like this:

They were like sheep without shepherd. So LK told them to quit emo-ing and to quit seeking attention and to head back to their pens and grow up.

When LK landed and saw a large crowd, he complained to God about how hard he was finally able to get a day's off and had called for a Jehovah's sponsored helicopter. He switched off his cellphone and fly off to a private retreat with his disciples.

I wouldn't had the mood or desire to be with them.
Neither did Jesus.
What made Him change his mind?

Take a look at Matthew 14:14. Let me emphasize 5 words that revealed the answer.
"He had compassion on them."

Hr felt the hunger of a new convert.
He felt the emptiness of the girl who got ditched.
He felt the loneliness of a rejected.
He felt the shame of the man who slept around.
He felt the guilt of a child-molester.

and when He felt those hurts and emotions.. Jesus couldn't help but to heal them..
He was so moved by the hurts of the people that he put His hurts on the back burner.
The rights of the creation over powered the rights of the Creator.
and thus that evening;
He gave everything, they took nothing less...

no wonder they called Him Saviour...

Imperfect.

2008-08-12T09:32:00.000-07:00

"think back and talk to me, did I grow up according to plan...?"

I tried hard to make it,
I just want to make you proud..

I feels like I've been crippled by fear
Fears of misunderstandings, fears of disappointing you again

seems like we've hit some rough edges again.
What I've done weren't what I intended them to be,
I just wanted to be a blessing to you actually..

I just wanted you to be proud of me
I just wanted to make you proud...

did you misunderstood me or that I couldn't understand you...
either way, it hurts

LOVE

2008-08-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

"for without love, I am nothing..."

I was really just thinking about life. Life is everything about relationship. Relationship with God, with man. And relationship has a core value, or should I say a common foundation? It is the single core element of every single relationships. Without it, a relationship will head towards destruction. This element and foundation is love. Really. I can't emphasize how important it is. Love motivates and encourages. It helps 2 people with no common interests to conquer many many differences to become eventually friends or spouses.

Love is the substance for true repentance toward God.
God's love encourages and motivates us to live a godly life and to discard sin. Not just so that we can look good or feel good, but the ultimate reason is Him loving us so much and would not want something as dirty and silly as sin to separate us from Him. And I love the way He do it! He convicts without condemning. He is really a good lover.
Our love for God is the secondary motivation to keep us living in truth. Why? Simply because we love God, and wouldn't want anything to keep us apart from Him either.

We love, because He first loved us.

And true enough. This is application in human's relationship and friendship as well.
By being ALWAYS there all the time, even the not so comfortable times. Sometimes, you play the good guy, sometimes you play the bad guy. Allow me to try illustrate this point.

Love is the waiting for a prodigal son.
The son probably felt that the dad was quite a "lousy" dad and thus wanted to leave the house. But well, he screwed up everything and anything. But the dad accepted him for who he is. (or was I should say). Down and out, broken and abandoned.
That's love buddy!

For me?

Love is my CGL scolding me in front of everyone during a meeting or fellowship.
not that I'm a sicko and I enjoy been scolded, but it's just that I realize that this action is too, motivated by the same love that caused her to make her way down to woodlands from changi airport at 12am in the morning just so that she gets to speak to me and know how I was when I was being childish and irresponsible. Running away from everyone and her.

Love motivates her to go an extra mile.

Love motivates me to do that do. To anyone, and everyone. According to the measure that I know I can afford to.
Being there.
Being there.
Being there.

I realize that just by "being there", people know we care.
Whether they appreciate it or not at first, by "being there" and "stayed there" with them. They will really be convicted of your genuine love.

The prodigal son was encouraged when his father didn't for one day gave him up.
The prodigal member was encouraged when his CGL didn't for one moment gave him up.
The prodigal friend was encouraged when his pal didn't for one time left him.
The prodigal creation was encouraged when his Creator didn't for one moment forget about him.

I was encouraged by the people before me,
and I pray that I too, will be able to live on this legacy, passing on this encouragement to more people.

actually, I kind of don't know what I am typing anymore because I am really tired. But still I must say..

I will always be there for you...

Life.

2008-08-10T09:14:00.001-07:00

"my life's a show on God's TV, the world an audience, watching me.."

so wake me, shake me, keep me sharp!

That's what I need God to do. My life's a show, telecasting on the TV of God. Everyone's watching.
So what about this TV thingy? Let me explain:

For any dramas or movies, you have a production and a product. Life's a movie marathon that will stretch over a period of many many years. As many of you have already knew, I celebrated my 19th birthday and which means, I've been producing and telecasting this life for 19 years.
And just like any other dramas, life have a wide range of actors and performers. Calefares, supportive or leading roles. Of course - The star here is yours sincerely - LK.

Anyone of these roles have to be present to make this movie a success, whether big or small, for long or for short, antagonist or protagonist. None of them can be missing from this big and important film. And the complicating part is this - a person will usually fills 2 roles. Actor and Audience. And they are really not mutually exclusive. Example - Audience watch this movie and think that it sucks, he decided to pop in and speak into my life to change it.(from this moment onwards, he became an actor and not an audience anymore). Get it?

Some audiences truly meant well and wants the best of you. I thank God that I do have these audiences in my life, where I can rely on them and depend on them to disciple me and to mentor my life and my movie such that it would be a glorifying movie at the end of it.
Most of the audiences are just those who "watch and leave" kind of audiences not leaving anything behind. They are neither constructive nor destructive.
The last kind of audience is the type I want to touch on more this time. The meanie audiences or perhaps, critics. They watch your life and criticize about anything and everything without really offering any solution or help to your problems. They have comments about anything and everything. Examples for you?

Big car = Waste money, materialistic.
Small car = So fake! Act poor only...
Doesn't talk = EMO!
Talk = Noisy.
Treat you to a meal = Hao Lian ar!
Doesn't treat you = Kiam Siap ar!
Say nice words = Flirt!(shocking isn't it)
Say mean words = not loving...
Call them = disturb them
Doesn't call them = reject them

and many many more....

So friends, how do we please everyone all the time? When a person agrees, another one is bound to disagree.
So of course, most of the times, you'll feel that they are really not looking at your good points and achievements but they are FOCUSING on your flaws and your NGs. They just want to pin point and magnify your weakness and flaws. Reasons? Well, we've have another thesis some other day to discuss on that. Probably physiology will help us to find out more.

Anyway, my point ain't this. Well. I gotta admit that in this movie called LIFE. I've had a pretty good amount of NGs. MANY MANY in facts. Enough to make me wants to quit. They are ugly, shameful pasts or mistakes that I made along the way. Things that I would want them to be kept in the dark forever. My guilt, fears, shames and many more. You can identify them in your movie too.

You have to understand this. That even though you're the STAR actor and perhaps even the director, there are many many things that you can change. But there are even more things that you can't change. Especially the mistakes or the critics.

However, we have a capable producer cum director. J team production.
His movies never fails the expectations of the audiences. His name is Jesus.
No matter what happened, what's happeneing or what will happen? As long as the producer is still in charge of this movie, you can be assured that it will be a wonderful piece of movie and the end of the day. So! Instead of focusing on the calefares, or the supporting or leading roles. Or the different type of audiences and allowing them to intoxicate and wears you out. Focus on the One with the most authority and capbility. I shut my big mouth and stop telling the captain what to do when my plane hits a turbulence. Why? Because he knows better.

Jesus - He knows better. In a matter of fact, He knows BEST.

do not give up on this piece of movie yet, just give it to the One who knows best...

Revived!

2008-08-08T14:05:00.001-07:00

"When the roof caves in..."

It is 5am in the morning.
Just had my bath and am lying on my bed comfortably, thinking through all the happenings throughout the day. Went to Geylang with Yuemin. Nope, not for the women, but the durians.
Was actually taking NR7 from tamp to cityhall for a transfer. But who knows, we were caught in a jam when we reached Geylang. Believe it or not, 2 am in the morning and there's a traffic congestion in the streets of Geylang.

So we decided to get off the bus that doesn't seems to be moving and we ate durians. Oh yes, I was almost killed twice by a sonata and a mazda. Seems like men in Geylang have their eyes fixed on somewhere else and not on the road when they drive.

Enough of that.

Had a wonderful Cell Group Meeting earlier on.
Cat preached about a message that I've always been hearing, but had never been so applicable.
"When the roof caves in..." 4 things to do when the roof caves in.
Wow... God is good. Really.
Got a touch from heaven once again. Had an encounter.

My soul's refreshed.
My faith reignited.
My vision's restored.

LK is back! Welcome home Lee Kian.
The Father spoke
The Son forgives
The Spirit empowers
The creation awaits
The world expects
The angles rejoice
The demons tremble

at a man who's once again, ready to die for a cause.

this time, it is serious...

Gifts.

2008-08-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

"the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life."

One prayer that I will always remind myself to pray is for God to open up my eyes to see and recognize the blessings in my life. Not forgetting His goodness just because the dirt of live and covered my eyes. And one thing I realize is that God, is always giving gifts. Naturally, He couldn't love me without giving, because giving is a byproduct of true love.

A gift... It is something we do not deserve but still got it anyway.
A gift is a mom's concern toward her son when he's a manager.. or a toilet cleaner.
A gift is a morning kiss on the husband's cheek even though he scolded his wife the night before because he was drunk.
A gift is forgiveness offered.
A gift is a member paying for the refreshments after our meetings.
A gift is a friend being by your side throughout your darkest days.
A gift is a restoration of dream, a reconciliation of broken relationship and a rejuvenated vision. A gift is a Father's love. A love in my life, a love in your life.

Through all these little and seemingly insignificant things, I realized that God is still sitting on His throne after all. I realized that God is the same yesterday, today and will be the same forever. I realized that God is good in good times, and good in bad times.
I pray hard that my eyes will be much more opened to not just the injustices, loses, setbacks and tribulations. But also the little, yet powerful things that are happening all around me, defining the character of God.

Most of the time, we do not doubt the existence of God. We doubted the character of God.
We doubted if God would forgive us, we doubted if God would love us, we doubted if God would help us. We doubted His character. Our faith in the Shepherd collapse when our world did.

But, I will make a decision today.

I will trust in the Lord, counting my blessings and being one myself. Whether sunny days or rainy days. Whether life had offered me its goodness or its harshness.

I will bless the Lord with all my soul...

My Debut.

2008-08-06T11:56:00.001-07:00

Hi people,

this is my first time blogging. Yeah yeah, I heard laughter. After 19 years of living and 9 years of living with technology, I've finally started to use blog.
Well, anyway. Was encouraged by lulu to blog. Did not really trusted and had a good impression of blogging. Not even "I Not Stupid Too" could change me.. but never mind that. I"m entering in to the new generation! Hopefully blogging's still the in thing.

Well anyway, here goes my first entry:

"He who God loves, He chastens."

People, what a COCs meeting that was. Even a visitor could sense that.
Anyway, to everyone who was chastened - Cheer up! You're well loved!
If it's not for the exposing and correcting, we'd never realize the condition deep within us.
After all, whatever Cat does, it's gotta be out of love. That's how I always feel and it always encourages me. At least, she bothers to correct me. I'm not beyond correction.

However, during the meeting I could seriously sense the "devil's grin" - if you know what I mean. Well, it didn't literally mean I saw him, but more or less.
He was sitting right at the back of the room. I saw him.
He thought he had the last laugh. He assumed that by chastening, we'd be defeated.
He had imagined that when we were corrected, he was lifted up in glory.

He didn't knew better. He should have.
We've risen stronger. Our minds are clearer.
We are ready. Ready to administrate the victory we had in Christ Jesus.

just you wait...